Love's Edge
by Kachi
Summary: Spike has left the Bebop crew. Faye wonders why or if she wasn't good enough for him. Why didn't he stay rather than leave for Julia when Faye was right there? Angst, romance, drama. Faye/Spike. Spoilers/insinuations to last episodes. May contain adult co


Love's Edge  
  
  
The rain poured outside, tapping on the window sill. She breathed heavily, her cold breath showing in the air. He trailed his fingers across her face, feeling the soft skin beneath.  
  
"Are you afraid?" he whispered gently.  
  
"Yes." She finally answered when his fingers touched her lips.  
  
He drew his hand back. "Of me?"  
  
She shook her head, "No. Of myself."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm not supposed to get close to anyone. They'll only hurt me. They've always hurt me." She looked away.  
  
He took her chin in his hand and slowly turned her face back to his. Her face held an odd expression, as if she were holding something back. "I wouldn't hurt you." He said, seeing the look of pain in her eyes.  
  
She looked him in the eyes, their shades each a different color. She wondered what they held, what they'd been through. Did he really know her? And would he want to?  
  
"I could." She looked away and he let go of her chin. He didn't say anything, but his face seemed to ask a question. She bit her lip as it began to quiver. "I would hurt you. I could without even knowing it. I think you know that."  
  
"I do, but I doubt it."  
  
She could feel his warm breath on her skin; he was so close. She'd heard these things before. Of course she'd heard them, every man wanted her, every man needed her. And they'd say anything to get her, even risk their lives. But they'd be gone by the next month, week, or day...  
  
In time, she was the one who would leave rather than the men that came and went. But she couldn't that to this man. She didn't know why, but she wouldn't be able to pull herself through with it. His eyes seemed sincere as she looked back at him, but somehow she still couldn't trust. She'd worked so hard to build up barriers and walls to protect herself. In the process she seemed to get hurt even more. But now why, why this man?  
  
Why was he different?  
  
Sometimes she would sit and wonder about anything else in the world and then he'd cross her mind. He'd somehow seep in and make her loose all thoughts but him. He made her angry, he made her laugh, and sometimes, he would make her cry. Why, she had no idea.  
  
She looked back up at him, and her legs began to give way. She was angered by this moment, and her face turned red. She heard a small laugh come out of him and she grimaced at him.  
  
"What? You're blushing." He smiled  
  
"No I'm not." She managed to spit out quietly.  
  
He just smiled at her, this undescribed expression on his face.  
  
"Don't look at me that way." She rather demanded than spoke.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She opened her mouth, but paused to change the words that wanted to come out. "It makes me feel weird."  
  
He looked at her and she backed up, looking up at him. "That look again," She thought. "Oh, Spike... What are you doing to me?" She let go of some air held up in her chest, but wish she could've gotten rid of more. She felt like her chest was caving in and she didn't know why her senses had gone numb. She couldn't move. She felt paralyzed under his tall figure. She put a hand to her forehead and stepped back against the wall, trying to rest her head... And her heart. It wouldn't stop beating. He stepped closer and her heart began to beat faster.  
  
"Leave me alone." She spoke under her breath.  
  
"I can't do that." He tore her hand away from her face and lowered it, his hand still firmly gripped around her delicate wrist.  
  
"What are you-!" She huffed angrily and started to raise her free arm until he grabbed it and held it down with his other arm. She squirmed under his grasp and she couldn't get her hands free either. She pulled and tugged with all her might but to no avail. She finally stopped and looked him dead square in the eyes. "Let me go, or else." She spoke as if she had assigned his death warrent.  
  
"Or else, hmm? What are you gonna pull?"  
  
"What are you trying to pull?!" She screamed in his face.  
  
"I'm not trying to chase you away, or force you either. I can never guess that look you get in your eyes. Courage? Fear? Or is it... something else?" He leaned in closer. "Tell me."  
  
It was too close for her. "Stop it."  
  
"You know you don't want me to."  
  
It was true, she didn't. But she didn't want him to keep going either. He kept pressing her for an answer, or an action, anything that she didn't want to give. He put his hand against her cheek, flushed and warmed. "Stop it." She told herself. She didn't want to feel this way ever again, like before. She didn't want him to betray her. But she knew him, she thought. Would he ever do something like that?  
  
He let go of her hands and she sighed a breath of relief until he leaned in, closer and closer. She could feel his warm breath on her skin again, and it made her go numb. She wanted to speak, but she couldn't. She wanted to move, she wanted to get away from him, but she couldn't. Didn't he know how awful he made her feel? How insecure? How lost? How complete?  
  
She felt his lips against her neck, one hand on her shoulder, the other in her hair. Her eyes seemed to close, and her lips parted to inhale the cold air. She put a hand on his neck and pulled him closer without even knowing it. His lips parted from her neck, leaving a visible mark. He raised his head and gazed into her emerald green eyes. She looked back at him, her heart pounding. All contradictions and protests cleared away as he lowered his head to hers. "Faye..." He breathed quietly. She closed her eyes as he leaned in closer, as did she. "Spike..." She whispered . . .  
  
Faye's eyes shuttered open to the morning's light. She rubbed her eyes and turned over, moving her legs off the side of the bed. She looked around her vacant room, confused. "A dream?" She raised her fingers to her lips and blushed. He crept into her thoughts and she felt her eyes wanting to tear, but she ignored the feeling. Her heart's beating slowed down and she sighed, throwing herself back into bed. Looking up to the ceiling, she put the back of her hand over her forehead. "It's like I have a fever or something."  
  
She rolled over and hugged onto her pillow. "Why did you have to leave?" She thought to herself. "Wasn't I good enough for you?" She sighed and looked to the open door. She yawned and stretched her legs out, sitting up over the edge of the bed. Standing up, she walked to the bathroom door. She stopped, putting her hand to the door side. "Julia..." She whispered.  
  
And then, ...she cried.  
  
  
To be continued... 


End file.
